Tomorrow is a new day. I start classes tomorrow, or class depending on how you look at my situation. I have no financial aid which means I have zero money for classes. I am hoping that if I take one class, I can work out a payment plan with the college and be able to at least have one class, then go back full time next semester. I just really don't want to be out of school this semester. So, that's about it I suppose.

I talked to Clay last night for the first time in days and it was awesome as usual. We talked for almost three hours! He tried to call me back but my stupid ass phone shut off. For some reason it decides to do that periodically and I hate it!

Anyways, gotta get a shower and get ready for bed, yup early. I actually want to shower and all before class at 8, plus I have to figure out where it is! hehehe....good luck to all going back to classes....

PS - Rachel Voytko I love you and I will miss you!  Can't wait to hang out when you come back! HOORAY!

Currently Listening Home By Dixie Chicks Travelling Soldier see related

I have realized, from personal experience and from friends observations, that it is near impossible to be friends with an ex. I don't know why I randomly think of things like this at 12:30 in the morning but I do. I read some of the "feedback," as it is so lovingly referred to on xanga, that my ex left and I was just disgusted. Here is a person I thought that I loved and that I was going to spend the rest of my life with and it sickens me. I think back to how things were and I just get sick. I was treated like shit on a daily basis and very un-appreciated.

I think it is just the fact that I am missing the man of my dreams. I've know this guy for about seven years now and we were best friends. We went through AFJROTC together, literally, since the first day it started a week before school started. We also went through geometry class together and our friends drama together. He was there on the curb with me cheering me up one night when none of my other friends were and he was the guy who met me for ice cream and came to the beach with me when I babysat. Who could forget our movie nights? Once a week, in high school, we had movie night at my house, established by myself and my sweetheart, Clay. He was also there for me after every heartbreak and ... well hearts broken (done by me to some poor guy). He never judged me or asked questions, he just listened and cheered me up without asking anything in return. He was there for me when I went through my best friends wedding. I was so upset everyday and felt horrible and every night I looked forward to talking to him. I have never been this happy in my life. He treats me like an equal, compliments me every time we talk, opens doors for me, and sends me flowers for no reason. Every day we had together was better then the one before, every phone coversation more in depth and detailed and I know I have a lot to look forward to when he comes home.

Well, it is 8:41 pm and I have been up since sometime yesterday morning. Only about thirty minutes of sleep last night, I have had so much on my mind lately.

I miss you sweetheart and I love you so much.

I start to write my thoughts and they spill out with no kind of order to them. Life has become somewhat chaotic and I feel like I am being spread too thin. I do love my job, it's hard not to...helping clueless women find the right fit and helping the gentleman that is feeling awkward and uncomfortable. The only thing is, it is so freaking STRESSFUL! I think I am the only person that has integrity sometimes and that I bust my ass and nobody is any wiser. Just a simple, good job thanks for everything, would be nice, but NO! Agh...anyways....

I got to talk to Clay for almost three hours yesterday morning! It was AWESOME! We definitely had a really good conversation, heheheh right honey ! Then I had work from 11 until 7:30 and it was hell! I was so bored and tired! I didn't get to bed until about 3:30 am Monday night/Tuesday morning, then Clay called me at about 7:00 am and I got up and all and we talked until 10:00 am when I had to get ready for work. So, I went all day on about three and a half hours of sleep, trust me I felt it by the end of the day. I came home, ate dinner, came upstairs to check my email and all and then fell asleep.

I'm not looking forward to another eight and a half hour day today. I am still pretty sick and feel like ass! I can't wait until this stupid ass sale is over. Dumb sale shoppers....

Ok that's all folks....Miss ya honey, love ya tons ! Hope I get to talk to you tonight...I will be home around 10ish, 2:00 pm your time, so maybe we'll have to talk tomorrow...Anyways....peace out kids.